Dealing with my Asthma and cat allergy
So, this morning on this 1st day of 2016, I started to work yet again on my asthmatic reactions to cats. Last Monday on our circle call I said loving me is when I know when to say NO to certain people/situations when it does not serve me. Well, I did not listen and went to dinner at a new friend’s place, who really wanted to show me her house. I knew she had 2 big (and I mean big) Siamese cats and still l went, because she kept saying her cats were healing cats. I got really sick.
I always suspected that my cat allergy started when my uncle lured me to the attic of our holiday house, where their cat had kittens. We always had cats when I was little, always walked around with my own cat under my arms and never had any trouble. I checked if the abuse by my uncle using my love for cats was cleared and YES, but when I got the nudge from Creator to check it in Dutch, it absolutely was NOT. Shit!!!
So I did the whole session in Dutch, proving again how important it is to do the work in the language the belief was created.
I checked if the sexual abuse from my uncle when I was 11 using my love for cats was cleared and it was a strong NO. The actual trauma was cleared long ago, but this was a different angle we were coming from.
I went one step further and found that My Love gets abused and used. So, what’s the worst that can happen? Straight answer – People Die!
I was shown a picture where I was restrained by strong men in blue military uniform (felt definitive in the past in France). They want something from me. They want me to give up/betray people and they know that I am strong enough to withstand torture as they had done so before. So, now they wanted me to watch as loved ones were being abused to get me to betray/name people I honored and respected therefore spare my family the torture. Nothing more got shown. I cleared the trauma from my cellular memory.
Next thought that came up was My love is safe – the response (through muscle testing) a strong NO, so to protect them, I swore at that moment never to love deeply again and never to allow anybody to love me deeply. That’s why I am alone to keep them safe. God has forsaken me at that moment. YES. I healed that and I know now that God is always with me and that (s)he loves me very much, because I am worth it and I am treasured.
During the releasing of that oath/promise I started sobbing. First I needed to receive the download that the people I would love deeply would be safe and then to know how to and that it was possible for me to love deeply again and to be loved deeply in return.
I am now allowed to give and receive deep love YES! But… I still am not worthy, nor deserve nor have a Right to it. Holy shit! That threw me.
Who told me that? I DID – as I then cursed myself with this so that I would and could keep my promise. Talk about a fool-proof plan.
I released the curse and with that the oath/promise could be completed, as the curse kept it in place. My whole body was shaking as if things were flying off it. I could take a very deep breath without ending in a coughing fit.
I now am absolutely worthy, deserve and have a Right to love deeply in an intimate relationship and to receive that in return. I and my heart are now fully open to have a deep intimate relation with my most compatible soul-mate and we are both safe within this relationship.
My love is safe now YES. My love will be abused or used NO. People I love are safe from being abused to get to me YES.
I know what it feels like to be part of a well-functioning family – NO. Downloaded that and that it is possible and how to live my day-to-day life being part of that.
I also knew that I had taken an Ancient Binding Rite, much stronger than a wedding vow to my then soulmate. I asked if it was for my highest good to release that, as I am ready to bring that into my life and I got told NO, as he was on his way to me now.
Watching Outlander last night made me remember this and part of me was expecting it to be in Scotland and wrote men in red-coats held me, but I got instantly corrected and that it was in the South of France a long time ago and men in blue military uniforms. I am glad I got corrected otherwise I could have easily thought that I made it up.